Living the life of a mother, a wife, a friend and especially an entrepreneur really is a struggle at times, I am not going to lie.
It has had me question the reason why I do this when at times, I listen to my own headfuck and think...who the fuck do you think you are, what the fuck do you think you are doing?!?
My own self defeatist attitude, comparisonitis and perfectionism get the best of me and I sit, with my coffee in my hand and stare into the distance wondering...what's the next thing, my next move, what do I want to do next.
At times it feels like I am a kid in a candy shop with overwhelm that stops me dead in my tracks because there is actually TOO MUCH going on and I need to run, to hide and to escape.
Sometimes I sit and contemplate what my life would look like if I did other jobs, worked in other fields and whether or not that might be a better option for me because discipline and consistency breed results and at times I can be inconsistent as fuck.
There is also a time where life speaks for us and we have to stop, listen and then reconnect to continue on our journey.
These times happen often, especially when life is either really uncomfortable or too comfortable and it feels like I am just not even growing anymore.
For me, this invisible wall has been hitting me HARD.
I have had health issues put me in my place, I have had family issues make me scream and cry with my heart just breaking into a million pieces without being able to know how to fix things, with my business wanting to reach out and helping so many more people than I already am and expand into multiple areas and income streams not just for me but for my kids.
It's enough to make you want to numb yourself all day long which in fact, I have done a few times now over the past 6 months.
So while everything seems great, I have been shifting massively internally, like I am on a freight train that can't stop, can't find the station and can't find an endpoint and honestly, the scenery where I am headed is exciting and inspiring but scary as fuck.
Don't get me wrong, I am not sad and in need of sympathy or empathy, I am actually in a really good place I am just wanting to share the reality of my journey because I felt called to share it for someone who needs to hear this.
When things are seemingly not working out for you they are actually falling into place for you.
We can't control outcomes but we can maneuver through things to the next possible resolution.
While life isn't guaranteed, perfect, and every little thing that happens for one person won't ever be the same for another this is encouraging because it means we must always start with ourselves.
We must know what we desire, we must actively participate in developing a sense of awareness and learn how to listen to our intuition in order to be able to take the next step.
The next step towards that vision, that goal or that desire even if at first the answer looks like we are taking a step back, often that is required to take massive leaps of faith forward.
Like when find ourselves wanting to jump over a puddle of water...depending on the size of the puddle, we may need to take a run and jump so have to walk back a few steps the gain momentum and leap.
Nothing is impossible. Nothing is limited.
Everything is available to you, you just have to know what you want and let go of the part of the process where you are holding on so bad that you can't let go of the familiar in order to trust the unfamiliar.
When you do....ahhhhhh.....freedom, joy, love awaits you <3
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