afterlife Mar 10, 2017


Losing someone you love is heartbreaking. It doesn’t matter whether their passing was sudden or you knew they were going to pass and had time to prepare. There is still a long road ahead for anyone that has lost a loved one. It takes time to heal from a loss. There is no set time allocated for grief nor should anyone feel rushed to heal.

A few years ago I attended a Grief Counselling Course where we discussed grief and how to help someone to ease the pain of a loved one’s passing. I clearly remember one scenario where a lady said she didn’t like to bring up the subject of a loved one’s passing as it made the person upset. The thing is they are already experiencing sadness, but a strong part of the healing process is enabling people to talk about their loved one and their experiences.

One way to discuss someone who has passed is to bring up good memories. Remembering special moments that were shared, happy times like birthdays/anniversaries and family gatherings, funny moments or talking about their favourite things. Just because a loved one passes doesn’t mean we can’t remember them or talk about them. There is nothing that makes us feel more connected than remembering the love that has been shared.

I am often asked..”How long does it take a loved one to come through after they have passed on?”

I asked spirit this question to which this came in response.

I booked a lady for a reading and she had rescheduled a number of times. I thought if this time she does not come then I think it is safe to say that the reading is not meant to transpire. This particular morning she came. She sat down and I began to connect in with her ex-husband that had passed over and had left behind a daughter. He said..”So next week at the funeral can you put your arm around her and tap her on the shoulder like this so she knows I am still with her.” This stopped me in my tracks. I said to the lady..”Funeral next week?” She said..”Yes. I was going to reschedule again after I heard the news this morning but I felt I had to come. He only passed away 6 hours ago.” I looked back at the gentleman in spirit and he said to me..”Now, do you have your answer!”

Indeed I did. There is no time or space between someone passing and their ability to be able to make communication with a medium. However, there are a few variables to consider.

The belief system of the medium – if he/she believes we cannot make contact immediately after passing then they will not open their mind enough for the communication to be present.
If the person requesting the reading is in too much grief then this affects the ability of the spirit to communicate so as not to cause undue stress.
The experience of the medium – if he/she does not have enough experience in working with spirit the communication may be vague due to the conscious mind coming into the connection. I would presume it is more so the medium wanting to soothe the person requesting the connection more than the connection is appropriately timed.

Which brings the question of ethics.

There is a question of ethics. Some people/mediums believe it is not right to make a connection with someone who has passed over so quickly. My personal opinion and experience; I generally assess the situation with the person and the spirit to see if a connection can be made and of course use my intuition to determine if it is appropriate and suitable for a connection to be made. My decision is based on these outcomes.

There is also a large number of people that deem it inappropriate regardless for any medium to connect with someone during this grief phase. There is talk from people saying that medium’s prey on those who have lost a recent loved one. Yes, of course, like any modality there will always be those who wish to prey on people.

This is why it is important that when you seek the counsel of a medium you do some research to determine a medium that you feel is suitable for you. Look for a medium that is compassionate, empathetic and ethical. Word of mouth is generally a great place to start to find a suitable medium. At the very least do your leg work and look at the mediums work, testimonials, website, social media pages and get to know the medium and ask yourself would you like to receive counsel from this person? If your answer is yes…then make contact and reconnect with your loved one!

Life is short. Make every second count,


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